I have been hiding out the last month or two. If you haven't reached out to me I really haven't reached out to you. Five weeks ago my husband had ankle reconstructive surgery, he is down, non weight bearing, for at least another week. I have had more ovarian cysts, thank you my one and only ovary for not functioning right. I have seen a pain management doctor, chiropractor, my GYN, had an ultrasound, had xrays, a CT scan and being referred to a breast surgeon. I keep asking myself what the hell have I done to be going thru so much! I am tired of no one looking at the whole picture, every spot I have pain, numbness, burning, tingling, etc. It is exhausting every day to try and figure this all out.
The CT scan of my abdomen has come back that I don't have any visible anything wrong in there. Which is good news and bad news all in one. I didn't know which way to hope for the results. If something was wrong then we would have answers why six months post op I am still in pain. Then if nothing was wrong then that's great but I have no answers other than what I was told in the very beginning. "Congrats, your pain will never get below a 3, our goal is to control you pain so it stays that low."
The xrays of my spine and hips says I have some back problems that can be some what relieved by strengthening my core muscles. Oh ya that's so easy! Can you sense my sarcasm?! I would love to be able to exercise but really, how will that work? Please tell me, I would love to know and do it!
There comes a point with this disease that you just have to realize this is your life. I don't know how to become ok with it. I have no words of wisdom to bestow on you, if you are at this same point your journey. I always say to myself at night, that tomorrow I am going to get up and take control back of my life. It lasts for about 2 hours and then I am exhausted and to me the disease takes over and I have to take a nap. I need to become ok with this and I don't know how to. I am 33 years old, there is no reason I should have this much exhaustion! I am 33 years old and there is no way I can even work. At 33 years old I shouldn't be living in a 70 year olds body. Some how I will get thru this, I'm not sure yet, but I am TOUGHER THAN ENDOMETROSIS!
